Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
