just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
