please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
