he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
