i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize