Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
