The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
