your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
