Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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