If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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