If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
