they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
