In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
