so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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