i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
