belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
