i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
