Nicole vs. Life
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
