you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
