My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
