I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
