Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
foreskin is a definite game changer
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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