Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
