It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
