Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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