Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
