last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize