that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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