What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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