im drinking this country out of the recession.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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