I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
