4 words: hood of his car
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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