she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
