I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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