please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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