so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
