is your mom at the bar?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
