...so i touched it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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