She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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