if you like me you must not know who I am
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
