Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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