Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
