I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Couch. On fire.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize