you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think your dad took our porno
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize