I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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