Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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