I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
