Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
