David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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