I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
