I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
