is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
