Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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