I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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