It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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