Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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