oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
