Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
last night I used snow as a chaser
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
