dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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