need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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