I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize