Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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