Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
someone threw a dead crab at me
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize